Zeiss H-Pl Polarizing Objective Holder and Illuminator from Ultraphot Microscope

Description

Zeiss H-Pl Polarizing Objective Holder and Illuminator from Ultraphot Microscope
Zeiss H-Pl Polarizing Objective Holder and Illuminator from Ultraphot Microscope
This piece was removed from an Ultraphot and is in good physical condition. I am unable to test it, however.
Frequently asked questions
How are you?
About the same, thanks for asking.
So what's included in your listing?
Everything you see in the pictures and nothing you don't.
What about the white backdrop? Is the white backdrop included?
No.
How about…
No, anything you see reflected in the shiny surfaces is not included either. Sheesh.
Anything else?
I'll throw in a box.
Oh, a smart guy, eh?
In case that's not rhetorical: I'm no expert, and I'm certainly not smart enough to know about everything that passes my way. I do my best to evaluate the things I sell, but often defer to the superior knowledge of the prospective buyer.
Will you ever learn?
Probably not.
What’s with your hair?
Um…wait, what?
What if the item I buy from you doesn't work?
You have 30 days from receipt to return it for a refund if it doesn't do as I describe.
What if I don't like the color?
Then you have 14 days.
If I tell you how crappy and obsolete your item is in a condescending enough tone, will you do me the favor of selling it to me for a fraction of your asking price?
You sure know how to butter a guy up. No.
I didn’t bother to read your description. Can you fill me in on the details?
Sure. Send a stamped self-addressed envelope to: mehoff58, c/o eBay, Internet.
Can I pick up my winnings in person?
I don't know you well enough to know your capabilities.
OK, may I?
Certainly!
I need your item, so lower your price.
Not really a question. Nope, not a question at all.
I bought this gadget from you 5 months ago and just found out it doesn’t work. Will you refund my money?
30 days is my limit. I can’t afford to keep large stores of cash handy for long warranties on used equipment. Besides, I don’t know how you stored it or handled it or if it was damaged in shipping. Anyway, no.
Did I forget anything?
What am I, a mind reader?
Will you discuss these imaginary conversations with your psychiatrist?
The conversations are quite real, it's you who are imaginary.
You just blew my mind.
Who said that?
I live overseas. Will you declare the value as 10% of the selling price?
No, and I’ll tell you why. Consider these three scenarios:
Scenario one: I agree to declare a lower value as a personal favor to you, a complete stranger. A few days after shipping, I get a call from US Customs asking all kinds of questions about the value of the item, to whom I am sending it, etc. I’m not a good liar.
Scenario two: I agree to declare a lower value as a personal favor to you, a complete stranger. The package gets lost in transit. You go through eBay to get all your money back from me. I’m stuck with a paltry settlement from the USPS.
Scenario three: It’s fraud.
I hope this explanation has been helpful.
Have you changed your privacy policy?
Seriously, who said that?
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